This is 40
The big 40 is here. Time for the common mid-life crisis. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do. Desperately try and recapture our youth in order to feel better as we have wasted away our life. Not me. I am have been looking forward to this. I am looking and feeling the best I have ever felt. I feel like I am just figuring out life now. I have an amazing son, a beautiful supportive wife, and a job that I am excited to go into every day.
I have lived an incredible time in my youth, I had the opportunity to travel throughout the world and work with some of the most unique people and jobs, the kind people only dream of. I made mistakes, many mistakes. But most importantly I learned from them, some lessons taking more failures than others to learn. Positive or negative outcome, I tried to learn from them. There is a lesson to be learned in success and in failure if you look close enough. This helped shape me and guide me into the direction I am in now.
I would say the classic, “I wish I knew then what I know now”, but then that would have not given me the opportunity to learn the lessons. The experience and failures shaped who I have become. I am glad to be part of an excellent group of mentors who help me develop personally, physically, emotionally, and professionally. If you do not have a mentor, find one.
I have been interested in fitness and performance my entire life. I originally got into it for self improvement, like many do. After several years of proper nutrition and training I wanted to try and help others, I took a complete change from being in school for computer engineering, something I was good at, not something I really wanted to do, to deciding to getting into the health and fitness field. At that time, there were limited choices in education in that field and none seemed to address what I feel was needed. So I started educating myself and experimenting on myself and any friends who were willing.
I now feel that at 40, with over 2 decades of passion in the industry, I am just starting to understand what it takes. My ideas and theories have evolved over the years, starting out thinking about the body as a lab experiment, breaking the body down into its individual systems and not looking at the body as a whole system. Its not just about the training and the numbers, its about the body as a whole. How you breathe, eat, move, think, feel, everything is connected.
It has been a big year. My father passed away several months ago. It was expected, but sudden. Attending his funeral was very emotional, it was also very inspiring. It made me think a lot more about what impact you will leave on the world. In the grand scheme of things, we are here for a very short time. We should try and help our fellow man with the skills we have to make a positive impact on the world. People remember how you make them feel, so make people feel better. Try to imagine who would show up to your funeral and what they would say about you.
This blog post might seem a bit out in left field, but it is just something I wanted to get down on paper, for myself to remember where I stood at this time. I had lots of ideas floating around, and just wanted to get something down for this “monumental” life milestone. It is mostly for myself and for my son to eventually read, but I thought I would share with people who are interested.
Yours in health,
Some of the life lessons I have learned and hope to pass on. This part if mostly for my son in the future, but feel free read and learn.
Ego is the enemy. There will always be someone better, and if there isn’t you are probably not surrounding yourself with the right people. You can only be the best that you can be, sometimes that will not be good enough, but that is ok. If you are always comparing and competing with others you will burn yourself out and harbour lots of resentment to yourself and others. Be happy for others accomplishments and the effort put into them. If you are always competing against others you are pushing them down instead of trying to lift them up.
Understand your why. Live up to your vision of yourself, not others. People tend to pigeon hold people and judge them based on first impressions. Very often these expectations are pushed onto the person and is expected to live up to those from a very young age. Do what and how you want to do things. If people around you don’t like it, you probably shouldn’t be surrounding yourself with them. Likewise, understand that people will always have varying opinions about you, and they are just that opinions. You won’t be able to keep all the people happy all the time.
Take some time to enjoy life. We are always busy, running from one thing to the next. Slow down and enjoy life, appreciate the moment. Think of how much you enjoy the little things such as the drive on vacation but hate your commute to work. Have the vacation mindset always, observe and enjoy.
Its about people. Try and meet the most varied people, try to cross all gaps of diversity in race, religion, economy, and lifestyle. A stranger is a friend you just haven’t met yet. In todays society people are in their own little bubble and don’t like to meet new people. Most importantly, care for these people. Treat people how you would want to be treated. Don’t assume someone else will do the right thing, thats your job.
Educate yourself. Do not rely on the educational system to teach you everything. This will only teach you the basics. Always be willing to learn, learning is a lifelong journey, it does not end when you are finished school.
Accept wisdom. Traditionally wisdom is passed down from the elders to the youth. This is an important opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others. Some lessons are learned the hard way and can be avoided by adhering to the lessons of others who have made the mistakes before,
Burn the questions. Question everything. If you have ever talked to a child you quickly realize they love to ask why, and are never satisfied with the answer. We loose this thirst for knowledge at some point, which is a shame.
Be the hero in your own movie. This is a great little quote I heard once from Joe Rogan and it really hit home. Think of your life as a movie, is it a comedy, a drama, what would the hero of your movie do. Then do it. As a side-note, it would be awesome if life had a soundtrack, what would yours be?
Get to know you parents and keep a connection. This is something I regret, my father passed after we had drifted apart and missed the opportunity to have a real connection. You will need and miss the connection when you are older, it also helps to model you better for when you are a parent.
Love something more than you love yourself. Be it a pet or a person. Learn to care for something more than you care for yourself. This teaches you to be less selfish and understand putting someone else needs before your own. This is hard for many, we are scared to not be loved back, or to get hurt. Start with an animal, they always love you back.
Be present and enjoy the moment. Nowadays people spend too much time watching things through the lens of their phone. Enjoy and embrace the moment, remember details and how you feel. Hopefully someone else will be the one taking pictures.
Don’t worry about being different. People will always judge you, I gave up on caring what other people think a long time ago, and I am very glad for it. Sure I might seem weird to some, but at least its genuine me. You will eventually feel