Aug 4 – 9

The Inner Voice: Why You Need to Change How You Talk to Yourself

I’ve always loved reading books on psychology. Understanding how people operate is endlessly fascinating to me, but as a coach, it’s also one of the most powerful tools I have to help motivate and support people on the gym floor.

When it comes to how our minds work, most of us naturally assume that everyone thinks the exact same way we do. But that couldn’t be further from the truth—especially when it comes to inner dialogue.

Lessons from 10 Hours on Mount Washington

I was reminded of this in a huge way just this past weekend during our family climb up Mount Washington.

It was a grueling 10-hour day—nearly 5 hours straight up, and another 5 hours back down. Over a climb that long and steep, mental fatigue hits just as hard as physical exhaustion. There were plenty of moments along the trail where energy dipped, legs were burning, and people felt like quitting or needed a boost to keep going.

What got everyone through to the top (and safely back down) wasn’t just physical conditioning; it was mindset and constructive self-talk. When your mind starts telling you “I can’t take another step,” flipping that script to “Take it one rock at a time, you’ve got this” makes all the difference. It was a massive accomplishment for our family, and proof of how powerful a positive mindset really is when the going gets tough.

The Hidden Trap: Negative Self-Talk

Back on the gym floor, take a second to think about how you react when you miss a lift, have to scale a workout you wanted to Rx, or completely drop the ball on your nutrition during a busy week.

How do you talk to yourself in that moment?

For a lot of us, that inner voice gets brutal:

• “I’m so weak.”
• “Why can’t I ever stick to a routine?”
• “I ruined the whole week, what’s the point?”

Many of us are insanely hard on ourselves. We beat ourselves up for failure and unleash a wave of negative self-talk that we would never, ever tolerate from someone else. If a friend, a workout partner, or a coach spoke to you the way you talk to yourself after a mistake, you’d probably cut ties with them on the spot!

So why do we let ourselves get away with it?

The Reframe: The “Parent Rule”

If you catch yourself falling into the trap of negative self-talk, try using this simple psychological reframe:

Talk to yourself the exact same way you would give advice to your own child (or a close friend).

If a child stumbles, misses a target, or wants to give up halfway up a steep hill, you wouldn’t yell at them or tell them they’re a failure. You’d be patient, encouraging, and constructive.

Apply that same grace to yourself:

1. Be understanding of the outcome: Accept that the mistake happened. Failure isn’t a character flaw; it’s just feedback.
2. Drop the self-blame: Blaming yourself doesn’t fix the problem or build strength—it just creates fatigue and shame.
3. Find the lesson: Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this? How can I set up my environment to prevent this next time? What wisdom did I gain?”

Be Your Own Best Coach

Positive self-talk isn’t about ignoring hard truths or pretending everything is easy. It’s about being constructive. A good coach doesn’t scream at an athlete for missing a lift—they analyze what went wrong, adjust the technique, and encourage them to step back up to the bar.

Whether you’re facing a 10-hour mountain trek or a tough barbell session, take a breath. Ditch the harsh critic, speak to yourself with some compassion, extract the lesson, and keep moving forward.

See you on the floor,

Coach Everett